Finally Baby!!!

Girl starts training again tomorrow! I am so excited and I can't wait! I am a lil stressed cause things are gonna be super tight for a while, but it will be worth it! This may sound silly, but everything that I do, I am constantly thinking about how it is gonna affect my future! I think about my future husband and kids! I want my kids to be proud of their mommy and my husband to be proud of his wife! I know right, not what your average 22 year is usually thinking about! Then again, I am not your average 22 year old! I have been through a lot from helping raise my siblings as a kid because my mom was really sick when we were young to being on deaths doorstep my freshman yr in high school! From losing one of the few people who ever truly believed in you and having to watch him slowly slip away as you and your family do everything they can to help take care of him to having this amazing connection with this amazing person, only to watch them walk right out of your life! I am not comparing my life to anyone else's by any means! That is actually a pet peeve of mine! I am just saying that with everything I have been through and knowing that its gonna keep coming, it makes me want to become the best person I can possibly be! I have always been a natural fighter of life and a huge competitor! I don't like it when things are handed to me and I don't like receiving things that I haven't earned! I want to become the best I can be in every aspect of my life so that I know I am deserving of an amazing husband and amazing kids! I want them to be proud and to see that no matter how hard things got, that I never gave up or backed down! Don't get me wrong, I will make mistakes and will grow and learn from them and Ill want them to understand that as well. But this lil mama has never been the kind of person to want to be anything better then the best...and I definitely want to be the best for my future family!

Can you even imagine, being with someone who strives to be the best! Not in a psycho "being the best is the only thing that matters" kind of way. But, in a healthy competitive way! Just imagine what it would bring to your life and your relationship! To have someone who is willing to fight for what they want, to be willing to go through the hard times and enjoy the good times with you! (Ha ha I just realized that this sounds like some kind of personal ad! I promise its not, I am just speaking in general!)

I am not one of those girls that is constantly looking to settle down! I am 22 going on 23 and have things I want to do! Dreams I want to chase and turn into reality! Don't get it twisted though! I cannot wait to get married and have a big family! But, I also know that it is gonna happen when it is suppose too! So, there is no sense wasting my time trying to force something that is not gonna happen until its ready! In the mean time baby girl is career driven and working on becoming the absolute best version of myself!

On a side note, I was thinking about some of the people who have come in and out of my life! Sometimes you have to say good bye! As hard as it may be to do! By doing that, it gives that special someone time to see what life would be like without you! If they are smart they will come back and try to be apart of your world again! Distance makes the heart grow fonder and missing someone is a healthy thing in any relationship! But, again, remember that things will happen in their own time! Until then, enjoy your life and the amazing people in it and if you do have someone, whether it is in the very beginning stages of becoming "friends" or you are in a committed relationship... enjoy the time you have with that person! If things are meant to be, they will happen in a smooth and natural way!

Its late and baby girl has an amazing and spectacular day planned tomorrow! Good night, good luck and live your life to the fullest and remember! Someday you will find the one who will make working for it seem so worth it!! XoXo!!

Dedicated Diva